In New York, they’ve just banned people from smoking in parks.
What will they do next, ban smokers from lighting up in their own homes?
But over in Denmark, an even harsher infringement of civil liberties has been imposed.
Families have been banned from smearing Marmite on their toast. Or anywhere else for that matter.
Why? Because Marmite has got added vitamins in it. How mad is that?
You can see some sort of health nut-loaf logic in taking a chunk out of Big Apple smokers (although surely the best way to dilute fag fumes is with a gust of great outdoors).
But what is wrong with getting a few extra B vitamins of a morning? And in the most delicious form known to man.
Marmite is, indisputably, the elixir of the Gods. There IS no more comforting, tasty a treat than a slice of hot toast dripping gobs of salty, meaty, brown-streaked molten butter.
My entire family was raised on Marmite; It was deemed so good for kids, the Government gave mothers it at a discount down the baby clinic. But the sanctimonious Danes say its not good enough for theirs and have blacklisted it, along with our Horlicks, Ovaltine and Farley’s Rusks.
What makes them so superior? What did they ever give us apart from encouragement to fry fatty bacon in a pan?
OK, Lego and Brigitte Nielsen. Vikings and Hans Christian Andersen.
Carlsberg and Lurpak butter. I wish I’d never asked.