President Hollande’s messy love life is a tres tres unfunny French farce

French President Francois Hollande and his companion Valerie Trierweiler pictured last May, arriving for a state dinner at the Elysee Palace, in Paris
French President Francois Hollande and his companion Valerie Trierweiler pictured last May, arriving for a state dinner at the Elysee Palace, in Paris
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Hollande’s alleged love triangle is becoming a French farce. But no one’s laughing.

The vanity and arrogance of Gallic president Francois Hollande is taking even the most garlic-heavy breath away.

It seems he’s ruling the country with one hand, and shenanniking with an actress with the other. And reckoning he can get away with it because he’s the most powerful man in France. Which is precisely the reason why he should not.

Of his conduct in political affairs, I know not. Frankly, I couldn’t give a figue. But in affairs of the heart, he sounds like a spineless and greedy wimp. If he has been having his patisserie Valerie cake while also partaking of a few galettes round at actress Julie Gayet’s, the man’s morals are seriously questionable.

Why didn’t he split with Val when he realised where things were heading? True, few men are capable of making a clean relationship break, but being the president ought to have given him the motivation. Instead, he seems to have believed it gave him immunity. You can see his logic; power had already brought him women who wouldn’t have looked twice at a man as unattractive as him.

It’s alleged glamorous Valerie Trierweiler became entwined with him while he was still with the mother of his children, politician Segolene Royal. Which makes me feel a lot less sorry than I did for a First Girlfriend so publicly betrayed. (Plus going into hospital with a broken heart - what’s all that about? I know love hurts. Believe me, I’ve still got the tear-stained pillowcase. But what you do is stay at home, in your pyjamas, and blub, eat comfort food and drink wine until you find the strength to think; you know what, HE is not worth ME doing this to myself).

Julie the real-life drama queen probably fancies doing a Carla Bruni. Or maybe Hollande does, Sarkosy having raised the bar and all that. And what’s going to happen next has the world agog.

I know what should: Valerie ought to walk out of that hospital with her best maquillage on - and dump him. and Julie Gayet should do the same.