Now go for the royal smell...

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The country has gone memorabilia-mad.

Some whacko has even had Kate and Wills etched into his front teeth.

If, after you’ve bought your Royal Wedding cupcakes, cufflinks and condoms (yes, you can!) you’ve got another tenner to waste, you could splash your cash on the perfume that claims to make you smell like the Royal couple on their wedding day.

Filthy-rich and breaking out into a nervous sweat must have been too tricky a call for perfume alchemists to reproduce, though.

Instead, The Perfume Shop has contented itself with “encapsulating the Royal couple’s personalities” in Kate and Wills-shaped bottles.

Kate comes out of it pretty well; Princess is a delicate fusion of green leaves (what other colour are there?) with lemon and white flowers; it has “a light floral blend with refined sensibility.”

Prince William? He’s portrayed as “an elated torrent of mandarin, citrus and ginger with a warm heart of nutmeg.”

A fruit cake by another other name...

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