Lifelong hangover

Up for it: Don't throw caution to the wind
Up for it: Don't throw caution to the wind
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Girls, it’s more than your tree lights that get turned on at Christmas, say the British Pregnancy Advisory Service.

They reckon the festivities are going to flip the ‘on’ switch in millions of women, who will then throw caution and their knickers to the winter winds and end the year up the duff.

They are so sure that Bailey’s-infused nights of revelry will be taking us beyond the point of no control, they’ve just launched a campaign urging us to stock up in advance on morning after pills. Have some in the cupboard, just in case you need them.

Bit like you would an extra packet of chicken Oxos for the gravy. That’s the general idea.

This year, you can ring up and order your pills in much the same way you would a pepperoni pizza.

Only you don’t even have to pay for this particular slice of hot and spicy. The pills, which are classed as emergency contraception but which pro-lifers say can actually be sugar-coated abortions if an egg has been fertilised, are free.

Criticism has been poured upon the scheme. And in their defence, BPAS say that every January, there’s a deluge of women turning to them for advice on unwanted pregnancies.

They believe giving out free pills in advance makes sense; many surgeries and pharmacies close over the festive period and while the pills are available from chemists’ shops, some charge up to £25, which too expensive for some women.

I’d like to know who are these women who get either so randy or so sozzled during the festivities they start thinking like men (ie with what’s between their legs rather than what’s in their heads)?

Most women I knock around with - granted, they’re the middle aged ones with commitments weighting down their libidos - will either be too knackered or too full of Christmas dinner to want to get jiggy. Even on the Wii.

And why isn’t the BPAS handing out free condoms instead of morning after pills and actively encouraging women to avoid having unprotected sex?

If we are to be chivvied into thinking ahead, shouldn’t it be about Plan A – making sure we go out protected – rather than Plan B – popping a pill the day after the stable door’s been left open?