Let’s all drink to that!

Looking good: I want some of what's she's having!
Looking good: I want some of what's she's having!
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Grab your glasses, women of a certain age.

And I don’t mean your vari-focals.

Things are looking up; well straight down the flute of a wine glass and into an oaky Chardonnay, to be precise. Times two.

Of a night, middle-aged females can slurp away on a couple of small glasses of vino – or a duo of gentle G&Ts – guilt-free, now.

Oh, you did anyway? Then pat yourself on your mildly inebriated back, old girl. You’ve been doing yourself good all these years.

Researchers in the US are linking daily moderate drinking with a happy and healthy retirement. Women in their 50s who have a couple of tipples a night are less likely to suffer from heart disease, stroke, diabetes and cancer in old age than women who drink more – which makes plain sense – or, more brilliantly, those who drink nothing at all.

Ha! The smug teetotallers wincing when the likes of you and me get tipsy at family christenings and weddings (OK, OK, AND 21sts, Christmases and New Year’s Eves)? They’ll be laughing on the other sides of their faces now. Because the likelihood is we’ll be at those parties, still talking like our tongues are wrapped in cotton-wool and tottering off our kitten heels long after they’ve popped their sensible, low-heeled clodhoppers.

The study of 120,000 women found the moderate drinkers were mentally sharper, too – they performed better in tests for Alzheimer’s.

Which probably accounts for why I can remember having heard this before -and that, each time a report comes out telling us a little alcohol is good for us, it’s swiftly followed by another stating the exact opposite. But what the hell; let’s believe.

I’m wondering if a widdy bit of booze preserves your looks, too? Kind of pickles you and plumps you out, like it does walnuts?

I mean, did you SEE those shots of Madonna, swanning into the Venice Film Festival to promote the film she’s just directed (wonder how much that cheesed off the ex?) looking like a woman half her age?

She didn’t even look as good when she WAS 25¾.

It has to be said, she looked absolutely incredible, though. Incredible being the operative word.

Every time I catch a shot of her, I’m two inches away, scanning every fleshy millimetre for clues as to how she’s done it.

She’s 53 for heaven’s sake. Those cute hamster cheeks, that firm, plump jawline... Where did all that peachy lusciousness come from? Just two years ago she was doing that chiselled cheekboned, scraped back look.

It can’t be cosmetic surgery – she vows she doesn’t do that. Could it all be down to two glasses of Bollinger a night?

I want some of what she’s having. Do you think Cava will do?