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HELEN'S DIARY: Hard to stay positive
HELEN Miller, from South Anston, is awaiting a lung transplant and keeping a weekly diary to support The Star's Gift of Life campaign to encourage people to become organ donors.
The 38-year-old mum of two wants readers to know what life is really like on the waiting list.Here, she explains how her condition affected her last week.
Saturday
I have decided that from now on until after Christmas I won't be going to Meadowhall on the weekends. It's too busy I get carrier bags in the face, people muttering why wheelchairs are allowed in - yes I've heard them.
I completed my second assignment today and emailed it through to the tutor so looking forward to the comments and feedback I receive.
Sunday
Lazy day for me, hectic day for John as usual. He tries to catch up on the cleaning, does ironing and cooks Sunday dinner.
I read the paper and then sit watching TV and writing Christmas cards. I've put a letter in my cards telling everyone the positives and not the negatives.
Monday
Mum did a bit of shopping for me and bought me a cake for Abi that John didn't realise was for her birthday and started to eat on Monday night. It's a good job we all saw the funny side.
Tuesday
Abi's birthday. She loved her presents and had some beautiful cards. We had a takeaway which was a nice treat. She's 19 now and leaves for uni' soon.
Wednesday
Went to Doncaster with Mum for a couple of hours. It was freezing so we tried to stop in the shops as much as possible. I only really went for the House of Fraser sale. Bought a few bargains.
I've been feeling ok lately but the longer I have to wait for the transplant the more I start to feel sick and start to worry and have doubts.
Will I be ok? Will I be able to walk straight away? How much pain will I be in? How long will I be in recovery? Will I ever have a transplant?
Will it work?
Thursday
Snowing! I like the look of the snow but I'm not going to venture out. I'm having the shopping delivered. I used to love supermarket shopping and now I have to use the internet; it's just not the same.
Friday
This is the first year that we haven't got the Christmas tree up on December 1. None of us have even talked about it yet. For the past three years we have thought I would have had the transplant and be able to enjoy the festivities. We all feel so deflated and can't see an end to this.
To sign up as an organ donor, visit www.thestar.co.uk/donor and click on the link and go to the Organ Donor Register.
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Friday 10 February 2012
Today
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