HEALTH: How one man made changes in his life after contemplating suicide

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For over ten years I previously suffered from depression.

I was very unhappy for many years and my life was not good.

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I had the wrong kind of mindset that caused me to make bad choices that included everything from surrounding myself with the wrong type of friends to going from job to job because I never knew what it was that I wanted and so my only focus was chasing money and the materialistic items that many of us crave for at some point in our lives.

I used to spend so much time just sat about at home feeling sorry for myself.

Thinking about where my life had gone wrong.

I hated life and as far as I was concerned I was doomed to failure.

I wasn’t always a nice person to others because I was so consumed with depression that I really struggled to communicate effectively with people.

I had bad relationships with several of my family members which often caused many arguments because I blamed others for the things that had gone wrong in my life and I was so consumed with feelings of anger and hate towards the people who I felt had done me harm in the past.

I had absolutely no confidence in myself and I would regularly put myself down in front of others.

I woke up one morning feeling worse than I had ever felt before.

That whole day I just sat about feeling so lost.

I just felt so tired of always feeling so bad and I didn’t want to feel that way anymore.

I felt so ashamed of the fact that I suffered from depression and I was always so worried about what others would think.

Would they still want me as a friend? Would they ridicule me?

These fears then caused me to suffer really badly with anxiety which was another thing I had to experience on an everyday basis. I just felt like I had, had enough and that I would be better of dead.

That evening I called the mental health team in a desperate attempt to get some help and I always remember the man that came out to see me as he was a really nice guy.

He said to me, ‘Mark I can give you so many reasons why life can be good for you and that you won’t always feel the way that you do but ultimately if you want to commit suicide and you’re determined to do it then you will’.

I sat up that whole night thinking about my life and I decided that I did want to live and have a good life but that things had to really change.

I started thinking about what was it that I wanted in life and I began to ask myself questions.

What sort of friends did I want to surround myself with?

How did I want others to treat me? And how did I want to treat others. And most importantly, what was it that I wanted to do in life?

So I knew that big changes were needed.

The next morning I got up earlier than I ever had before and I started to take action.

I started pushing myself to do more things like getting out and about.

I started to challenge myself and put myself in all the situations that I hated the most.

I hated being around people so I started being around more people.

I would tell myself when I suffered moments of anxiety that everything was okay and that I had to do this to change my life.

I started to feel better as the days went on and I continued to work on myself.

I knew that I had to challenge every thought and action that had kept me in that horrible place of depression because I no longer wanted to be there.

Ever since that eventful night, I have continued to work on myself and I became involved in self-development and it has absolutely changed my life.

Today I absolutely love life.

I am confident and I love myself for the person that I am. I am surrounded by wonderful family and friends who bring amazing value into my life.

I am so grateful for all the amazing things that I have in my life which I now never take for granted.

As a speaker and a coach, I am so passionate about sharing my story with others so that I can help them to live life on their terms.

I am now on a mission to raise awareness of depression and I am looking for employers who would be interested in me coming along to their workplace to give a free talk where I will share my story and talk about the benefits of having a healthy mindset.

Call Mark on 07803 356204 or email kehoe965@btinternet.com