From the barbie to the kitchen

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TV chefs, you know not what you do.

All that testosterone-fuelled cooking (never mind the frying pan; throw that venison haunch on to the flames of a chef’s blazing temper and stand well back)... it’s turning men on to cooking.

A survey in a new men’s supplement for Delicious magazine reveals men now see themselves as indisputable kings of the kitchen.

But not in a good, New Man way. It’s nothing to do with getting in touch with their nurturing side.

Half the men quizzed boasted cooking appeals to their competitive streak.

It’s turning them into egotistical, big-headed beasts who reckon they’re better cooks than their partners. One in five men even say they’d never consider having a relationship with a woman who can’t cook.

Progress? Nah. No prizes for guessing what they like cooking best. Meat.

You can take men out of the Neanderthal era and shove them in a Pogenpol, but you can’t take the Neanderthal out of the man.

The proof? The way their eyes go wild when you ask them to light the barbecue. The way they hog the barbecue. The way they burn everything on it – then scoff the cindered lot.