Fashion Week milks it for all it’s worth

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A dress made from 3,000 cow nipples has given London Fashion Week attendees something to beef about.

Repulsive and grotesque, said some. Animal rights groups even called it disrespectful to dead cows.

The stupid moos. Before you join the herd for a stampede, ask yourself; are you being hugely hypocritical?

If you happily wear leather, eat beef and drink milk, then I don’t see as you have a cloven hoof to stand on.

Meanwhile, if you’re a vexed vegan shod in sandals made of shredded car tyres, complaining that poor dead cow remains should have been treated with respect, instead of being paraded by a runway, why can’t you see Liverpudlian designer Rachel Freire’s work as a metaphorical tweaking of the public conscience?

Freire cleverly fashioned the nipples into dainty rosettes with pert little button centres and studded them all over a skin-toned gown. It looked very fetching to me. And as a lover of leather, suede, sirloin steaks and a good rib roast, my view is waste not, want not.

As Freire says, “I use material that would otherwise end up on the scrapheap. I am recycling. The people criticising are clearly clueless about the amount of leather wasted on a daily basis.”

Freire adds that the nipples “really make you aware of the animal itself.” And therein lies the rub. Each little nub that nurtured reminds the fashion pack that an animal gave its life for the strip of hide Burberry fashioned into something hide-ously expensive for them to sling over their shoulders.