By the time we’re out of this recession, Kate and William’s first-born will be a five-year-old.
There might even be an heir to spare.
Crippled Britain won’t feel the benefit of George Osbourne’s Tory slash and burn budgeting for a long, long time – not until 2018, the chancellor revealed yesterday (it was dressed up in distracting frills and frippery, but that’s about the bones of it).
That’s the outlook if all goes according to plan, anyway – for the nation’s beleagured economy, the ever-bickering Tory-Lib Dem coalition and the Duchess of Cambridge’s pregnancy.
After all, it’s early days for them all. Particularly Wills and Kate. The couple were forced into announcing their news just eight weeks into the right-Royal pregnancy – a time when such a fragile new life hangs in a very delicate balance.
I feel pretty sorry for them. Just a week ago, the secret – and the hugely emotive mix of elation and worry it brings – was all theirs.
After 18 months of marriage and with Kate hitting 30, the time was right for them to become parents.
They must have been chuffed to Royal Mint imperials. And what a way to top off a spectacular year of all things Great Britishness – from the Jubilee to the Olympics.
I imagine Kate must have been smiling to herself as she took a trip down Memory Lane, paying a visit to children at her old preparatory school in Berkshire.
She was photographed by hoards of the international media without a single trained lens picking up any sign of the real, underlying story.
But it was only days later – and way too early – that the whole world had to be told. And all because of Kate’s misfortune. Like one in every 200 pregnant women she is suffering from a severe form of morning sickness. While baby books, midwives, a clutch of old wives’ tales and your mother tell you that you should be absolutely blooming, all you feel is utterly wretched.
The condition can be serious, too; mothers can dehydrate and lose too much weight – something the reed-like Duchess can ill-afford.
When she was rushed into hospital Palace advisers decided it would be impossible to keep a lid on the news.
All it would take would be a tweet from an unscrupulous gossip of a hospital worker and the news would have gone global in minutes. A pretty sad indictment of today’s social media-ridden times.
Now well-wishers are in that same state of mind that Kate and William were in just a week ago; elated at what is always great news – the impending arrival of a baby and a future King or Queen to bootee – but at the same time, worried.
Fans of this modern, immensely likeable Royal couple who seem genuinely in love are being stoically, sensibly British, though – keeping it real, and fingers’ crossed, that all goes well for them.
If it does, then it’s the Royal icing on the celebratory cake that, despite being skint, Britain has had a whopping slice of in 2012.