Take Two with Colin Drury

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HE WON’T BE RELISHING THIS

Blimey! Bet MP Jim Dowd didn’t know he was on such dangerous ground talking about something as innocuous as sauce.

That’ll learn him.

MEANWHILE IN WORCESTER

Meanwhile, down in Worcester, they’re cock-a-hoop about the scandal no-one will ever call relish-gate.

“Worcestershire Sauce has been used in the House of Commons as an example of how successful brands can be exploited,” began a report headlined “There’s only one Worcestershire Sauce”.

One more than is needed when you also have a bottle of Hendo’s on the table, it could be said. In any case, is this how city rivalries start?

Worcester: nice cathedral, shame about the condiment. Etc etc.

AND IN WESTMINSTER...

Nick Clegg weighed in as well, penning an open letter to Jim Dowd.

“I am writing to you as a Sheffield MP regarding your comments which cited Henderson’s Relish as an example of how successful brands can be exploited...” he wrote before most people probably got too bored to carry on reading.

Appreciate Hendo’s is important (especially when you have a 300 – word column to fill) but you’d think the Deputy PM (and his staff) might have better things to do with their time.

AND FINALLY...

And a postscript to today’s main Diary piece...

This column doesn’t normally do Valentine’s day until February – and, even then, begrudgingly. But Birdhouse Tea is now also doing lovers brews with special labels.

“You’re my cup of tea,” reads one. Which must surely be one of the most romantic messages ever.