Take Two: police and thieves, and wordy Ed

Ed Miliband
Ed Miliband
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Colin Drury casts his eye over the week’s news...

BE MORE CAREFUL, LADS

Back in the dim and distant past, when this writer was a student, there was a minor incident with a thief.

This crook snuck into our back garden and swiped a flatmate’s bike. We say swipe but that probably doesn’t convey the industry which went into the operation. Our light fingered friend climbed a seven foot fence, smashed a chain on the gate, and then rode away.

And the police officer who came round told us, with the air of a man who won’t be giving the subject another thought once he’s walked out the front door, “we won’t find it, lads - be more careful with your property in future.”

Thanks for your efforts, Morse.

All of which came to mind after it was reported in The Star last week that a father-of-four was ordered to do community service for spending £10,000 which suddenly appeared in his bank account. Through a bizarre set of circumstances the police had put it there without realising.

While Zulificar Ahmed clearly shouldn’t have spent the accidental windfall, doesn’t it somehow seem a little harsh to punish him for not resisting temptation and doing so?

After all, perhaps the police should be more careful with their property in future.

WORDY ED WAFFLES ON

Now, who’d have thought this, then? Wordy Ed Miliband has been accused of waffle.

The Labour leader and MP for Doncaster North - fast becoming known for his long-winded answers - was asked to sum up his vision for Britain in one word. But instead he rambled on for more than 100.

“I’ll give you two: One Nation,” said Ed after being set the challenge by a reporter who accused him of having an inconcise message. And then the politician took another full minute (and several more sentences) to explain what exactly One Nation supposedly means.

Not his finest moment (or, er, several moments).

So perhaps he should be taking tips from a suitably brief online critic. “I’ll give you one word,” said person posted on a newspaper website. “Joke.”