take two: HAS TO BE GEOFF...?

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Tell you what, though, not sure what that columnist was talking about when he said Carlton could be the worst footballer ever to play for England. Two words: Geoff Thomas.

SHEFFIELD, ER, UNITED

Incidentally, here’s a somewhat unusual idea from the big man: he reckons Wednesday and United should merge.

“One big club would be so much better for the city,” he reckons. “More money, more supporters, more potential, more hope of attracting big names – we could then compete as one of the giants of Europe. And that would bring more investment into Sheffield as a whole. It makes sense.”

It’s an interesting suggestion, although somehow one can’t see it catching on.

HE MUST BE JOKER-ING

“It wouldn’t work,” says a friend. “It’s like Batman and Joker. We hate each other but take one away and the other loses half its reason for existing.”

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DARLING

Now how’s this for an unusual way to spend your silver wedding anniversary?

Peter and Helen Franklin will toast 25 years of marriage tonight not with a meal, a party or – as this column’s beloved can expect – a weekend in Blackpool. But by sleeping out on Sheffield’s streets.

The couple, of Norton Lees, are taking part in the Cathedral Archer Project’s Sleep Out where volunteers kip rough to raise funds for the city’s homeless

“We decided this would be a memorable way to mark our special date,” says Peter who wed Helen on September 10 1988. Memorable is certainly one word.

Sponsor at www.justgiving.com/peter-franklin1