LIFE'S A BITCH - I needed Steve Jobs sitting next to me
IT was a treat to myself for my birthday...
A long-overdue new phone to replace the device which, in just a couple of years, had become as cumbersome and backward as the proverbial house brick. But it was also a bittersweet gift for a technophobe like me - its entrance into my life arriving with two such extremes, from the great excitement at the possibilities it held, to the immense frustration at how the hell I was meant to unlock this potential.
The first panic came with the idea that I might somehow rack up a huge internet bill unknowingly. Memories of the wrath of my dad when he discovered I'd been having hour long nightly chats to a mobile flashed vividly before eyes. Only this time of course it would be even more frightening - with no 'I'm so sorry Daddy' and a well-timed cup of tea and biscuit at my disposal, I'd be the one left footing the bill.
A frantic midnight text to a friend in London (she's been using an iPhone for, like, forever) put my mind at rest - and had her giggling into her Sauvignon Blanc at my naivety while she used the About Me App to plot the journey to the next trendy bar.
Then it was time to crank up my bargain basement laptop and attempt to download iTunes.
It was a painful experience. Sitting there watching and waiting.
Waiting and watching. Then waiting a bit more - the green progress bar inching ever so slightly closer towards completion about once every 10 minutes.
But the most frustrating part was yet to come - as it was only after all of this that the system asked me if I wanted to install "the most up to date version" of the programme. Of course I did! Wouldn't anyone who has just bought something new want, and indeed expect, that to be the case?
And so even though I was ready to throw the whole thing out of the window, I bit my lip and clicked yes, muttering to myself to be patient whilst reaching for another slice of birthday cake.
Another lifetime passed.
And here is the killer - something that even a piece of Marks and Sparks' finest Victoria Sponge couldn't take the edge off. The whole stupid upgrade wasn't even compatible - meaning I was forced to go through the whole rigmarole AGAIN.
At last I was up and running and so I referred to my iPhone information booklet to find the princely total of three paragraphs informing me as to what on earth I was to do now.
Finally, after spending three evenings grappling with the device, I managed to download an album from iTunes and transfer it to the iPod on the phone. I've also collected a respectable batch of Apps which allow me to do everything from catch up with the news headlines, convert currency, find my nearest tapas bar and plan a train journey.
As I started to get more excited about the capabilities of Steve Job's amazing contraption, I asked another friend with an iPhone if she had anything to recommend. And when the first thing she said was 'Tips and Tricks' App - offering all the secrets of how to use it - I could only wish I'd gone to her sooner. Because for all the things that these phones can do, you can't beat a bit of human interaction to help you on your way.
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Friday 25 May 2012
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