A new episode of the Price is wrong...

Katy is dumping Alex, her husband of just 11 months.

You know Alex; he's the cage-fighter, whom the pumped-up, over-painted, self-appointed princess of a fantasy land called Celebritydom declared was the love of her life when she married him in Las Vegas.

And now she's claiming that her ex-husband, Pete (you know Pete; the pumped up, plastic-looking one who seemed to be quite a nice guy, just like his role model... Barbie's Ken) isn't really having a proper, real relationship with Elen Rives.

(You know Elen; she was the girlfriend of Frank Lampard, Premiership footballer, until he ditched her for glamorous TV presenter Christine Bleakley). And if you don't know Elen, you will do soon - she's starring in the new series of Dancing On Ice.

By the way, you may be slightly confused about whether you know Christine, seeing as the girl who replaced her on The One Show sofa looks exactly like her.

Anyway, can you see where Katy is going with this?

If you're a fan of EastEnders, or perhaps Hollyoaks, you will. Because Princesss Price's life runs just like a soap storyline. It must be written for her by reject scriptwriters.

Clearly, the next episode will see Katy re-marrying Peter (which viewers knew would happen all along), jilted Alex getting it on with Kerry Catona (who was briefly linked with Ken Doll and, although she hasn't featured in the above, always manages to pop up whenever there's publicity going) and Elen embarking on a lesbian relationship with Christine.

That leaves Frank on his own, but it won't be for long. Because in Episode Three, Price dumps Pete again and heads off to Sunset Strip with Lampard in tow.

Hello! will probably pay a fortune for that one.

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