My daughter said that she wanted a fish for Christmas; I know, a fish, like a dog, cat or any other pet or creature is for life, not just for Christmas, so realising and accepting the responsibility, we trundled on to our local pet shop.

Well, the Monty Python sketch - no, not the parrot one, the Spanish Inquisition one - came to mind.

We told the woman we wanted eight or 10 fish and was told we would have to buy a big tank and filter etc. costing about £100.

Hmmm, I thought about this and decided against it.

"I can't sell you the fish today unless you have the tank and filter etc. and get it settled for a week."

My wife and I looked at each other with disbelief ... it's a bl**dy fish, we said to each other in the car.

So we decided in the end to buy four fish in total and were very naughty and bought the tank from another shop, then to another two different shops for the fish because they would only sell us two x £1 fish first (yep, we told a naughty white lie and said the tank was already set up!!) because they need to settle in first (no joke), and took them home.

We put water in the tank, along with the gravel, filter etc, then popped the fish in (all 4 of them) and they swam around the tank happy as Larry.

Now I don't know whether fish have feelings or not and have withdrawal symptoms from their friends in the tank (probably won't remember them anyway 'cause they only have very short memory), but it's coming to something when we get asked so many questions by the pet police just to buy a bl**dy fish!

David Forrest, Hepworth Drive, Swallownest, Sheffield


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