"IT'S the little things that knock you for six," explains Jane Ford, turning to look at the wall-hung framed photograph of her smart young son in his regimental uniform.
A year has passed since 18-year-old Ben Ford was killed by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan. Now his sister Emma has joined the army and wants to go to war.
"When the phone rings at teatime I fully expect it to be Ben telling me what he's been up to and what he's had for tea.
"Then when I go into Chesterfield I'll pass a young man and smell Lynx body spray which is what he used to wear. It's those kind of things which totally throw you."
Trevor and Jane's lives were turned upside down on September 5 last year when two men in dark suits came calling.
"When you see this kind of thing on the television you expect them to be in full military uniform but these two were in suits and looked like policemen.
"They told me about the bomb and I just couldn't believe what they were telling me. I phoned Emma and asked her to come home. Within three minutes she was home and took over because I was in such a state.
"I couldn't cry at all until the men had gone and then I couldn't stop. Everything was in slow motion."
Two hours later the army returned to deal with administration and inform the growing number of journalists gathering at the semi in Newbold, Chesterfield.
The army has helped enormously and so too has the media, says Jane, a sales manager at a Chesterfield paint company.
"Because we've done a lot of media interviews it's meant a lot of people know about Ben.
"It's meant that there's only been one time in the past year when someone didn't know and asked how he was.
"It's saved us from explaining."
Trevor and Jane have also found comfort in the kindness of strangers.
"It's been really helpful to know that people care," adds Sheffield Homes team leader Trevor, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"If we've found anything too stressful we've spoken to the army and they've helped us out.
"Some days I've not wanted to get out of bed but you dust yourself down. You can't walk around looking upset and depressed all the time. It's not what he would have wanted us to do.
"We find talking about the good times helps. We'll laugh as we recall how he used to call us at 2am and ask if we could pick him up from town. I'd get dressed and go and pick him up.
"Losing Ben has made our family stronger. We've had to rely on each other."
Two weeks ago 17-year-old Emma Ford passed out as a Private with The Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers.
Trevor and Jane are enormously proud of their daughter and her determination to follow in her brother's military footsteps.
Emma was due to start her army training on September 9, just four days after her brother's death but the grief was too raw.
"She was determined to start on that day but when we got up to the college in Harrogate it was just too soon," says Jane.
"It was just too much for us all."
Emma delayed her training by a couple of weeks and then threw herself into army life. She's told her parents it's helped with her grief.
"We did a bit of soul searching because of what had happened to Ben but that's what they both wanted to do," adds Jane stoically.
"They wanted to serve side by side. There's no way I could stop them or would want to. Emma has made us all proud and Ben would have been over the moon if he'd been here.
"We've got to honour their wishes and we support her 100 per cent. We're very proud of both our children."
Emma says she 'can't wait' for an overseas posting and wants to see active service in Afghanistan or Iraq.
"We'll support her no matter where she goes," adds Trevor.
In a matter of weeks Emma will be off to Aborfield barracks in Buckinghamshire and Trevor and Jane will be alone again, albeit with new Alsatian pup Lily.
"We got Lily a few months ago from a rescue centre after our old dog died. We'd had our old dog for years which the kids had grown up with," explained Trevor.
"The dog was very old and poorly and when Ben went off to Afghanistan we thought it was probably going to be the last time Ben would see the dog.
"It was Ben who we didn't see again."
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