"He was 18 and looked just like Les McKeown of the Bay City Rollers," she sighs.

Their eyes met across draughty Doncaster Bus Station and love blossomed.

Their big white wedding happened when the bride was 20. "I was ecstatically happy. He was a good man; he worked hard and he loved me the best way he knew how," she reflects.

But by the birth of their second child, that was no longer enough for Alison.

"I began to feel unloved and unappreciated. I was a nurse and began to feel that my job was the only thing that gave me any worth.

"I became someone when I put my uniform on; I disappeared when I took it off to go home to my family."

Boiling point came one Christmas. The hard-up young couple had decided they would economise on gifts for each other.

"We pledged to buy each other one £10 gift and I told him I wanted a video of the Snow White movie.

"But when that was all I got on Christmas Day, I was gutted.

"It was what we had agreed, but I'd subconsciously wanted him to ignore the pact and buy things that I felt showed he loved me. That day, I felt all I was worth was a child's Disney video!"

Alison cringes now at the unfair way in which she reacted: "It wasn't his fault at all. I should have communicated my real feelings more clearly instead of blaming him for not being able to read my mind."

She can also now see that what she should have done was work harder at her marriage, persuade her husband to show his affection for her and work on boosting her self-confidence.

But what she did was fall into a trap she says many under-confident women fall into... she had an affair.

Having someone fancy her, shower her with compliments, make her feel loved, was an irresistible confidence booster. Even more so because her lover Steve was 11 years younger.

"I was 31 and he was 20. And to make matters worse, we met at church. Our parents were all friends and the congregation knew us well," she winces.

"I went from being a respected member of the local community, a churchgoing, married mother of two, to a scarlet woman who had run off with a toyboy."

Alison had been aware for some time that Steve had been harbouring a crush on her and though it had sparked her interest in him, it was only when he announced he was leaving Doncaster to live in France that she decided to act.

"I did such a foolish thing; I suggested we went out on a date," she admits.

"I somehow persuaded my unsuspecting husband I was taking Steve out as a farewell gesture and I made myself as attractive as I could that night. I spent ages on my hair, nails and make-up.

"The woman who smiled back at me from the mirror looked youthful, sexy even, with an air of elegance. What a pity her own husband didn't see her in this light, I thought."

It was meant to be just the one night and it ended in nothing more than a kiss.

"But it was wonderful," she remembers.

"Off he went to France, leaving me feeling I'd had a taste of life in full colour, then been plonked back into black and white."

His leaving should have been the end of it. But a car crash brought him back home – to Alison's open arms. A full-blown affair swiftly developed and she left her husband, taking her two children, aged eight and four, to set up home with Steve – a man they came to look on as a big brother figure.

The relationship fragmented her family. Her parents were so shocked, they refused to speak to her for years.

"I so regret all the hurt I caused my husband and everyone else. But at the time I was running on my feelings and they are very powerful things to fight with logic," she explains.

"It had been so long since anyone had seen me as a desirable woman, I could not control my emotions.

"I had fallen in love with this youth's passion for me."

The couple's tiny, rented house was a far cry from the four-bedroomed detached marital home she had left. Steve got a job as a trainee baker to help support his instant family, but earned a pittance in comparison to her engineer husband, who was beside himself with pain and anger.

"He was devastated and that shocked me – I hadn't thought he cared that much," she says. "He begged me to stay and go to counselling, but I refused."

How bitterly she came to regret her decision. She now realises the relationship with Steve was doomed from the start: "He thought he'd got a bubbly, outgoing blonde not a woman weighed down with guilt and shame. No matter how hard he tried, I couldn't reconcile myself with what I had done."

Behind Steve's back, she went to her husband, begging for forgiveness and a fresh start.

"He turned me down flat. After the hurt I'd caused him, he had closed the door on me – and found someone else," she explains.

So when Steve asked her to marry him, she accepted: "I thought making it official would make everything all right."

They began planning their big church day. But with just six weeks to go and everything bought and paid for, Alison called it off. "I realised marrying him wasn't going to put my life right and asked him to move out."

Alison began rebuilding her life with her children.

"I had messed up their lives but they were wonderful and I took a long, hard look at myself.

"Through self-analysis I worked out I'd always looked to other people to make me feel loved and approved of.

"I had never taken responsibility for my own happiness and self-worth. I decided to forgive myself, move on and start to change my attitude to life."

It worked; Alison fell in love again just six months later to Paul, another friend from church. They married 11 years ago, have a child together and, she says, she couldn't be happier.

She got her Disney happy ending after all - but only after waking up to reality.

Alison's top 10 happiness tips:

• Take responsibility for your own happiness. Don't hope it will happen by itself. It probably won't.


• On a daily basis write down which three things went well and why. Plan more of the same.


• Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Thank those who have helped you in some way. It works best when written and delivered personally.


• Cultivate your 'signature strengths' in a fresh way – in other words, do more using the things you are best at.


• Focus more on what you appreciate about life- anything from a glorious sun rise to your best friend.


• Smile at everyone! See what happens.


• Forgive yourself and those who have hurt you. Let go of any resentment or bitterness.


• Remind yourself of your best qualities and achievements. So often we dwell on what we are not and what we haven't yet done.


• Be part of something bigger than yourself - it helps you become less self-centered.


• Spend more time with the people you love.

Alison has written a book about the affair that changed her life. Confessions Of An Unfaithful Heart was published by AuthorHouse in December, priced £5.99 and is obtainable from www.amazon.com or it can be ordered into local bookstores.

Her company, Lavish Lifestyle Consulting, works with individuals or groups to help people discover their untapped potential.

For more email alison@lavishlifestyleconsulting.com or telephone 01427 873697.
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