As the nights draw in and the temperature drops, blokes will start dropping like flies as they succumb to a virus which women shrug off as the common cold but they see as potentially life-threatening.
Cue that chilling statement: "I think I'm going down with something", followed by a repertoire of symptoms.
These can range from nose-lowing that sounds as though they're tuning up a trumpet, low moaning and groaning noises (especially if requested to do any routine chore) and the purchase of dozens of pills and potions.
But worse, a sufferer's demands on the carer are taxing and heavy – constant sympathy, saintly nursing – basically a 'wait on them hand-and-foot' service.
So be afraid, be very afraid if your man is called Barry, Dave or Brian and is working in IT or as an engineer, builder, taxi or lorry driver or shop assistant.
These men are most at risk of inflicting full-blown man flu symptoms on their partners, according to a new, light-hearted survey of 3,000 women nationwide by menthol lozenges manufacturer, Fisherman's Friend Blackcurrant.
In general, these men are most likely to, at worst, desert their jobs and football stadiums as they sink on to a bed of pain live in Yorkshire, the North East, Humberside, Scotland, Wales and the West Midlands.
Fisherman's Friend spokesman Rob Metcalfe has no time for these feeble creatures.
"Man flu's a fairly recent phenomenon that has emerged alongside the 'metrosexual male'," he points out.
"Men were real men when Fisherman's Friend lozenges were first created in 1865 to help relieve extreme conditions on voyages.
"Those sailors wouldn't have got their wives to call their captains to excuse them from their voyages just because of a runny nose."
The research found that the typical British male takes an average of four days off a year with cold and mild flu-like symptoms – light cold, runny nose or headache – compared to a meagre two days for women.
Yet, despite suspecting that men exaggerate their illness, one in three women devotedly nurse their man through the 'worst' while one in five will even telephone their man's boss to say he's too sick to work.
Be smug if your man is called Alan, Andrew or James.
The survey found these blokes are made of sterner stuff and are least likely to complain.
Man flu is no joke – especially if you're female – so follow our prescription for coping with it and retaining your sanity.
Man flu is defined as a psychological condition in which men claim to suffer more from colds than women.
A poll by the men's magazine Nuts confirmed that men don't just moan more than women, they also fork out more on remedies. Around 82% stay in bed until they feel better.
November is apparently the peak month for man flu cases, with one in six men complaining about it striking then.
Watch for these signs that your man may be suffering (with help from specialist website www.manflu.org.uk):
- He cannot give you a concise breakdown of his symptoms and relies on 'it hurts everywhere'. This is a competitive ailment, so if you point out you suffered from the same thing but struggled through and recovered he responds: "Oh, but this is much worse."
- He retreats to bed or the sofa and appears nervous at the thought of moving, especially when the word 'work' is used or if the phrase "get it yourself" is used in anger.
- He may be found watching daytime programmes such as Jeremy Kyle or his favourite football DVD.
- Men suffering from man flu are often unable to carry out their normal chores. If challenged they may sigh heavily, look martyred and state: "I am ill you know!".
- The patient may also pore over an A-Z guide to health problems or trawl medical sites on the internet, with a resulting rise in the number and severity of symptoms.
- So what can you do?
- Mothering and sympathy should be given in frequent, large doses.
- The carer must frequently tell the sufferer that "you're being really brave" and "it must be miserable for you".
- Make sure remote control, phone, and games console are always within easy reach.
- Ensure patient receives a constant flow of snacks, drinks, magazines and newspapers.
- Ensure volume levels of children and animals are reduced. Make sure all look suitably concerned whenever they're within sight of the patient.
- Anything less than devoted, unconditional caring may only prolong symptoms as the patient will regard it as a challenge to prove the severity of his illness.
- Avoid statements such as: "You've probably got what I had, it doesn't last long" or "get over it, I've got to work/ look after the kids and can't run around after you 24/7".
- Don't recall any risk factors that may, prior to the first symptoms, have contributed to the condition: e.g a heavy night out with his mates, coupled with returning home in the early hours without any warm clothing such as a coat.
- Be patient. Having a stress ball or something to bite might help relieve symptoms of frustration and anger caused by monotonous moaning and disturbed nights as the patient tosses and turns.
Alternatively, ignore the whole thing, carry on as normal and act genuinely surprised every time you see the pyjama-clad, snuffling man in your life STILL lying on the sofa/bed. Harsh, maybe, but it may cut recovery time in half.
Feed a man healthy meals that will boost his energy levels so recovery is faster – you know it makes sense!
Nutritionist Nigel Denby, who has produced a menu of recipes for men for Nuts magazine (www.nuts.co.uk/ nutsmenu), has some sound advice.
"The immune system needs essential nutrients to give the body the best chance of recovering from the lethargy left behind after a bout of flu, and for reducing the risk of further infection," he says.
Make sure your man's meals contain the following essential nutrients: iron, found in red meats, pulses and leafy green vegetables, is essential for energy and to avoid anaemia.
Vitamin A, found in yellow and orange vegetables like sweet potatoes, peppers and carrots, helps the body ward off infection.
Berries are one of the best sources of antioxidants, which help protect cells from attack.
B vitamins, found in wholegrains, folate from liver and leafy green vegetables, and selenium, found in nuts, fish and eggs, help boost mood which can be low after illness.
Garlic contains allicin which is believed to boost immunity, while Omega-3 fatty acids from oily fish and flax seeds help the cells in the respiratory system fight infection.
Zinc, found in shellfish and wholegrain cereals, is needed for a robust immune system.
Celebrities most likely to play the sympathy card at the sign of the first sniffle, according to the Fisherman's Friend survey: musician Peter Doherty, former Eastenders actor Dean Gaffney, Luke Marsden (Big Brother 9), footballer Cristiano Ronaldo, and presenter Jonathan Ross.
Women would most like to nurse: Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Colin Firth, Robbie Williams and Colin Farrell.
Celebrities least likely to succumb to man flu: Gordon Ramsay, Vinnie Jones, Ross Kemp, Ray Winstone, and Russell Crowe.
What do you think? Add your comments below.
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