FORWARD into the future! This bold new computerised, pre-packed, portion-controlled, digital world of ours knows no bounds.
Unless a bit of common sense is required, then it grinds to a dithering halt.
A colleague who shares a love of the eccentricities of modern life was driven to distraction by a session of retail retardation in Boots yesterday.
He went in for som
e cold remedy sachets and saw some Vick's ones at (an outrageous) £4.49.
At that price he thought no, I'd rather have the bloody cold. He's from Mexborough.
Then he noticed a sign saying they were half price and took some to the till where the girl said:
"£4.49 please"
"No, they're half price look, see the sign there?"
"Oh yes, I'll just go and check."
She wanders over to the display and says: "Oh yes, you're right"
He knew that.
Then she had to get someone to override the price.
Three supervisors over ten minutes failed to make this happen, and just when my bunged-up, and by now losing the will to live, colleague was about to walk out full-nosed and empty-handed, the register changed the price itself.
"Oh look, it's changed it!" said the girl.
"Oh yes, how marvellous," said my colleague, barely able to contain his joy.
Bring back Arkwright's tills, says he.
Loyal support
QUITE how I missed the Jeremy Paxman and the poor quality of modern men's pants story I don't know.
But I did and he's dead right.
The Newsnight hardman reckons modern pants don't offer support for the, er, male form.
Spot on Jezzer.
M&S, designer labels, Tesco, Sainsbury's etc all have the same problem - a couple of washes and they're saggy and baggy and down to your knee - the pants that is.
The best ones are Fruit Of The Loom cotton trunks bought on holiday in Florida.
I remember a time in the distant past when sturdy Nylon briefs would last a decade and support a football team, a new bathroom extension and anything else a gentleman might wish to put in them.
Chinese imports
BAVARIANS are getting their knickers in a twist of the importation of cheap Chinese lederhosen for their Oktoberfest booze-up.
Apparently young damen und herren are going for sexier, punkier leather gear and upsetting the traditionalists.
I offer no comment. I just wanted to say 'cheap Chinese lederhosen' in the paper.
Twice.
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