FOR a moment, I thought the Monty Python team were writing the news this week.
Teacher Gillian Gibbons is locked up after a teddy bear is named Mohammed.
She is told she has insulted the Islamic prophet. And she could be whipped for her crime.
As she is arrested, it is reported that the police station is surrounded by a mob baying for Gillian's blood.
Meanwhile, a tiny voice speaks out on her behalf.
It is a seven year old boy who admits he picked the name Mohammed. And he wasn't thinking of the Prophet at the time.
You see, the little lad is called Mohammed and he wanted the teddy bear to be named after him.
NOW HAVE YOUR SAY: CLICK HERE TO JOIN OUR READER PANEL DEBATE.If it wasn't so tragic, you'd laugh out loud.
But this is reality. This is what happens when you allow religious zealots to rule the law of a land.
I wonder how many children in Sheffield schools were made aware of this aspect of Islam during events connected to Islam Awareness Week, which ended just seven short days ago.
Or was this aspect of a bloodstained religion (Mohammed established his beliefs by the sword and oversaw the slaughter of dissenting tribes) suppressed?
Was it conveniently swept under the prayer rug and a sanitised version of Islam paraded for our enlightenment.
It is true that the Muslim Council of Britain joined the international clamour for Gillian's release.
But the comments of its secretary general, Dr Muhammad Abdul Bari, are pretty specific, suggesting a mix-up: "This is a very unfortunate incident and Ms Gibbons should never have been arrested in the first place. It is obvious that no malice was intended."
He doesn't address the fundamental issue that this poor woman was banged up in a Khartoum jail, effectively in solitary confinement, because someone took umbrage when a teddy bear was given the same name as their prophet.
Is it because Dr Bari doesn't want to offend other Muslims, those who agree that it is highly offensive to create images of God or his prophet? Is it because he himself is offended because someone names a toy after a mystic?
There is a strand of Islam known as Wahhabism. It is a strictly conservative interpretation of the faith, insisting that religious (or sharia) law should be followed to ensure individuals do not stray from a pathway which will lead them to Paradise.
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The followers of this doctrine, which is accepted in vast parts of the Arabian peninsular as well as a number of African countries, consider the name Wahabbists to be an insult. They prefer the term 'unitarian'.
And, to me, that's a key to a dangerous trend. It emphasises their desire to unify all of Islam behind their strict, medieval view on life.
That is where the Sudan, where teacher Gillian Gibbons came unstuck, is headed.
Amnesty International has blacklisted the nation.And the international community looks on in confounded bewilderment as one of the world's poorest nations still finds the money to arm its warring factions so they can tear one another to pieces.
The roots of the country's ills lie in conflict resulting from years of political and economic domination of the mostly Muslim north over the mostly Christian and animist south.
And from this chaos rise the men of God. And, sadly, they are not happy simply to preach and persuade. They want to rule.
What a depressing world where you can be arrested for letting children name a teddy bear Mohammed?
If it wasn't so tragic, you'd laugh out loud and slap Michael Palin and co. on the back for coming up with such a cracking joke.
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