You're not alone.

Around five million other people have it as well.

It's not something you can always cure because it's a very high falutin' name for fear of work.

I expect it's short for Oh Lord, 'ere we go again.

It's probably safe to say that if you are indeed an ergophobic – and I tend to get it on Mondays although it's usually wearing off by Friday – you do not rate very highly on the Happiness Index.

This sounds like some kind of measurement of the grins on people's faces after they come out of a Ken Dodd marathon chuckle-in.

The last time I did that I was very happy. But then I was unhappy because I couldn't remember a single joke to tell in the office the next day.

The Happiness Index has nothing to do with tickling sticks but is an annual scientific polling exercise.

It's been invented by City & Guilds, the people who set exams for everyone – shorthand writers, plumbers, carpenters and florists.

They do it by the simple process of saying to over 1,000 people: Are you happy in your job?

Then if their boss is not listening they give a straight answer.

The average measure of happiness this year is 7.1 out of 10.

Anything above that then you're quids in, below and things are looking desperate.

Then they publish one of those league tables which have a horrid fascination because you just have to look to see where you fit on the Richter scale of human existence.

I'll tell you now, we journalists aren't exactly little rays of sunshine.

It shows that hairdressers (8.69) and beauty therapists (8.02) are the merriest, cheerfullest souls in the country, almost skipping with excitement on their way to the salon.

While the most miserable are human resources managers (what we used to call personnel managers), secretaries, personal assistants and administrative workers.

Journalists come well below child care workers, doctors and other medical people, plumbers, electricians and builders.

There we are with a Happiness Index of 7.2 (just above the threshold, note), joint equal with people in leisure and tourism.

I reckon the only thing which keeps us going is the fact that we are above accountants, trailing behind the rest of the pack on 7.04, but then they have all that money to make up for it.

But I do feel sorry for chefs and other catering workers. They're even more miserable (on 6.25) and don't have the money unless they happen to be called Gordon Ramsay.

Now when organisations publish reports like this they like to wheel out a few old fashioned platitudes and home truths to justify it all.

Money doesn't necessarily bring happiness, they trill, and you have to admit being a hairdresser or beauty therapist might keep you in hair lotion or nail varnish but it doesn't pay for a night or two at the Ritz.

If that was that I could live with it but those chaps at City & Guilds just can't stop there.