Think housekeeper, nanny, maid, chef, counsellor, taxi driver and banker rolled into one.

It's unpaid, exhausting and at times frustrating – but it's still the best job in the world.

It's a job we don't get any training for and one we don't give ourselves credit for.

But then again it's hardly surprising that we constantly question our abilities. There seems to be a whole industry built on making parents feel inadequate.

Parenting is undoubtedly tough and it's made even harder if we listen to the news, soak up the opinions of the 'experts' and measure ourselves against others.

Ever since the little one was born I've battled (and often given in to) the tempation to compare my daughter to other kids. It all started in pregnancy when I worried about the size of my bump.

Then as she cut her first tooth, started to walk and her language slowly developed, it moved up a gear.

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When she wasn't talking but her little friends were, I wondered what I was doing wrong. I panicked when she was the last to walk and I still catch myself wondering whether 'I'm doing it right.'

I doubt my maternal neurosis will ever end. It's part of the job spec.

And so too is self development and lifelong learning. I'm now learning with her. I'm learning that I occasionally forget to say please and thank you (she now reminds me!) and I'm learning how to be a mum.

I might struggle to calculate the correct parenting formula but it didn't take me too long to work out the silly number-crunching survey released by the Department of Health this week.

The government has decreed that 90 per cent of mums in Yorkshire (why just mums?) are unknowingly teaching their kids the incorrect routine when it comes to... wait for it... sneezing.

For heaven's sake. Is it any wonder we feel we can't do right for doing wrong?

Apparently we're so lax with hygiene that we're putting our kids' health on the line.

But fear not, the Government is poised with a large paper tissue.

And they've come up with a character called Dirty Bertie to get their snotty message across.

Dirty Bertie has a rhyme and a booklet in which he teaches kids (and their parents) how to sneeze germ-free.

It seems we've all got to learn to 'CATCH IT, KILL IT, BIN IT.'

Any self-respecting parent shouldn't get caught without a handkerchief at the ready. Those who fail to encourage their kids to wash their hands after sneezing are the worst offenders, we're told.

Well I feel suitably admonished.

We all want what's best for our families but isn't this taking things a bit far?

How much money has it cost the Department of Health to dream up Dirty Bertie and produce the booklets?

Surely there's a limit to how much guidance we, as parents, need?

Parenting is a tough job and I'm convinced the Government is trying to make it tougher.

Thanks Dirty Bertie, but no thanks.


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